Rocky Road

A story of a rocky road through life including marriage and trying to have a baby we so desperately want.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

A little better

We dropped Kev's truck off at the garage after work on Monday for inspection. So yesterday we woke up to snow and Kev drove my truck with me in it to work and then I left, went to get breakfast and McDonald's and my morning White Chocolate Caramel Cappucinno which I really shouldn't drink, but it's so mm mm good. Anyway, the McDonald's food had me feeling less than great most of the day. Kev was dropped off at the shop/office and he confessed that he had cheated, he had a cigarette and it made him dizzy and his body felt all tingly. I was a little upset that he caved and had one, but he was a little nicer to me last evening. We drove to the garage and picked up his truck and then drove home. We had Lasagne for dinner, it was a frozen meal, not near as good as if I would have made it from scratch, but still it was okay and I didn't have to do much work for it. Kev went to bed at 7:30pm. I think he was trying to hide from the fact that he couldn't have a cig. This morning Kev's alarm went off for him to get up for work, I took my temp and he actually cuddled with me this morning. We laid there for a little bit and his alarm kept going off, I told him he needed to get up for work and he told me he wasn't going to work today. Certainly not how I want to start my day, I nagged a little and we ended up bding, under the condition he would get up and go to work. Afterwards, I told him he needed to go to work, he said again he wasn't going. I told him that was not the right answer, he needed to get up and go. He can't just not go to work because he doesn't feel like it, he just wanted to lay in bed all day, easier than dealing with the nicotine withdrawal I guess. Seemed to me like sign of depression, coupled with the low testosterone, he just didn't feel like getting up. I told him he can't just not go to work, we need the money in order to do our insems and once we have children not going to work because you don't feel like it is not an option, children have needs and are costly. Besides, he promised if I gave him what he wanted he would get up and go, not holding up his end of the bargain would mean he used me. He did then get up and go to work, I was proud of him that he did that even though he didn't want to. I'm so glad he knows I'm right and only pushing him because I love him enough to make sure he does what he needs to do. Hopefully this day gets better and he isn't a complete arse when I get home. I just hope I'm not pushing too hard, especially while he is going through this quitting the things that are bad for him.
On another note, Vee from fertilityfriend found my blog. I was so excited to see she commented. She is a great gal and she understands what Kev is going through. I haven't had to quit an addiction, such as smoking cigs, so I don't know what it is like to go through that. I just wish it wasn't so hard on us.


  • At 5:23 PM, Blogger Vee said…

    Hi Jo

    Aaaw that is sweet, thank you.
    I am glad I found your blog too :)

    Great to hear you convinced Kev to go to work. There is bit of depression attached to giving up anything, because you "think" it makes you feel good and when you are taking away something that makes you feel it doesn't feel good...does that make sense ? lol

    Can I suggest reading info for yourself even if Kev doesn't want to.
    There are some good tips here
    There is other info out there too.

    You are doing a great job, with supporting him.

    Good Luck !

  • At 8:09 PM, Blogger Jo said…

    Thanks Vee. I just feels sometimes like I am not supporting him enough and then other times I feel like I am pushing too much. I just don't want to see him depressed again, everyone tells me he pulled out of depression when he met me. So I've kind of seen him depressed before. I know if I just let him go he will slide back into depression. Another reason I wish he would go to counseling.


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