Rocky Road

A story of a rocky road through life including marriage and trying to have a baby we so desperately want.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

MEN, Can't Live With Them, Can't Live Without Them!!!

I know it's tough sometimes at the office when one of us is out, like this week. V was in the office Monday and out the rest of the week. We both work a 40 hour week, but she normally starts and finishes 1/2 hour before me. So when she is out, I must start 1/2 hour early, but work to my regular end time, so I work 8.5 hour days. Not really a problem, 1/2 hour a day doesn't mess with my schedule much. The problem comes in when a lot seems to go whacky at the office and there is only one of us to handle everything, this week is one of those such weeks. I know it's not the case, but it seems that everything that could go wrong already has this week and it's only Wednesday morning. All this I feel like I can deal with though. What I am having trouble dealing with in my life right now is the fact that money is tight, and ttc has been put on hold, not only because of money being tight, because I am having testing done to see if there is yet another fertility problem that needs to be addressed. Nonetheless it is stressful, one of those 'damned if I do and damned if I don't' situations. I'm stressed while I'm ttc and stressed when I'm not because I have no chance if I'm not trying. One of the unfortunate parts of our situation, I can't just sit back and hope it magically happens on a rest cycle. I guess I could wish for miracle, but since records (if you are Christian and believe the Bible is a record of actual events) show only 1 immaculate conception in the past 2007 years, I have trouble believing that I will get pregnant on a rest cycle. To add to that, I get a call from my wonderful husband at 7:25am this morning asking me what I am doing....uhhh I am just about to work. The conversation continues like this:
Kev: You didn't put the dogs out this morning, did you?
Jo: No...I never put them out before I go to work.
Kev: Well you need to start. One of them just shit on the bedroom floor. *mind you this is the second time since Friday I think, but Bruiser was sick*
Jo: Maybe we need to start letting them out right before bed or pick up there food and water after they are out the last time. I don't have time to let them out before I go to work. I am already running myself ragged as it is. I'm not getting up at 4:30 in the morning to let the dogs out before I go to work.

At this point he doesn't say anything. I ask him if he is still there. He says yes. I proceed to tell him I don't understand why he even called if he isn't going to respond when I say things. It irks me, because this is how all our more serious conversations go. I say something he doesn't want to hear and he doesn't respond at all. So we will be having a conversation when I get home from work. Hopefully not a one sided conversation. I am lucky right now if I am managing to get 7 hours of sleep a night. I'm working 42 hours this week, normally 40 hours with 80minutes driving time on top of that and I still manage to get home and get dinner on the table. I tend to work on the computer while I'm eating because I feel like I can't even take the time to sit and eat without doing something else at the same time. Make it to the market twice a week, run my Avon business and make progress at that. And what is he doing?!?! Not much. Over the past 9 days, all I have seen him accomplish is cleaning the snake tank, mow 1/4 of the lawn, sweep the living room floor. One of the topics for discussion tonight will be his work situation. He is trying to run a drywall finishing business, but he hasn't had any work in over a month and with every passing week the money gets tighter and tighter. Our only saving grace has been the fact that we refinanced our house to get a lower rate and consolidated his motorcycle loan into that and in doing that we actually got to skip a mortgage payment, but the first payment on the new mortgage is coming due soon and it takes over 2 weeks of my pay to make the mortgage payment. I think it's time he looks for a full time job, because he isn't putting enough effort into getting drywall jobs. I'm afraid his business will have to take a back burner.

On the ttc front, I called the RE office this morning and my REs nurse said she would prefer I wait to get my test results directly from Dr. D since he prefers to personally speak with his patients. So I will wait for him to call me when he returns to the office on Monday. Also, the order was not written for my HSG because I wasn't sure I wanted to have it done, but I have since decided that I will have it done, so I will need to discuss that with him too. He will write the order and then I will need to call his office when my next cycle starts and they will schedule it then. For some reason they only do it before cycle day 15. I wonder if that is always the case. I think normally it would bother me that I need to wait to get my test results, but I'm almost glad to know that the reason I'm not getting them is because my RE is so hands on and wants to give me the results himself. I like the personal touch.

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  • At 6:35 PM, Blogger Trace said…

    Lebanon, huh? I live in the suburbs of Philly, but hubby grew up in Lancaster County. We are also pursuing DI, but are only in the beginning stage. I'll follow your progress If you don't mind.

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