Rocky Road

A story of a rocky road through life including marriage and trying to have a baby we so desperately want.

Monday, June 26, 2006

One of the worst days of my life

We lost our darling, precious, little one June 3rd. It was the worst experience realizing that I was losing our miracle baby and there was nothing I could do to make it stop. Fortunately, my HCG levels dropped quickly and the doctor gave us the all clear to try again right away. So we did our second DICI on Friday, June 16th. Over the past week or so I've been very uncertain as to whether I ovulated anywhere close to then. So I had given up hope, and then on Friday, June 23rd Fertility Friend tells me that I may have ovulated Saturday, June 17th. So now I have a bit of hope, but trying not to be too hopeful as I'm not sure I believe that is when I ovulated. So I plan to wait it out until at least this Saturday and then think about testing depending on how I feel. I feel I may have ovulated Wednesday, June 21st, so I may just wait until then and see if AF shows. I'm not sure I can handle seeing a BFN, on the other hand seeing a BFP is going to be hard as well and I really want to have my levels check ASAP if I am pregnant again. The fear of miscarrying again may be horrible. I just hope for the best right now.
I started my veggie garden about 1 and a half weeks ago and in the one corner I put a tribute flower for our angel baby and it abundantly blooms. It's so pretty. And my veggie plants are growing tall and strong. Although it's not stopped raining much for the past week and we have som severe flooding, so I hope the little plants can withstand it all.

3 Comments:

  • At 7:17 PM, Blogger Vee said…

    So sorry to hear of your loss. Good to hear you could move on quickly. Good luck with this cycle !

     
  • At 11:07 AM, Blogger katty said…

    i'm very sorry. good luck this time round.
    it sounds like a stupid thing to say, and this is not to minimise your loss, but it is a good sign that you can get pregnant with donor sperm.
    not everyone does, and i know several people who have gone on to carry to full term using DI after miscarriages.
    Good LUCK.

     
  • At 2:05 AM, Blogger Dramalish said…

    My condolences on your loss. DI is such a trying experience; I'm glad you were able to push on through it.

    Best of luck this cycle. My husband and I are living proof that DI stories can end very happily.
    -D.

     

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