Rocky Road

A story of a rocky road through life including marriage and trying to have a baby we so desperately want.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Oooh am I MAD!!!

Just had to come on here and vent a little. WARNING: This post may be a little racy! I know some people may read this and think I am nuts, but I got home from work today and I wasn't feeling well all day, had a mild migraine. And I go in to my office and I notice that there is something that that is a dead give away that Kev masturbated while I was at work. Well, for some reason this has always been a sore spot with me. Maybe a pet peeve I guess. It really makes me feel inadequate. I really think that I have a rather healthy sexual appetite and I've thought from the beginning of my relationship with Kev that he had a somewhat low sex drive for a man and since his diagnosis, I've just chocked it up to low testosterone. Anyway, all that is beside the point, it just bothers me when a man that I am with feels the need to masturbate, it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. If he was that horny I would have rather he waited until I got home and dragged me off to bed the minute I walked in the door. I would have found that way more appealing that coming home to find that he had relieved himself without me. Maybe I overreact to this, I just can't help how I feel. I'm thinking now though, since I am horny, despite the fact that I am/was kinda mad at him, I may just jump him when we go to bed and maybe it will make him feel guilty and he'll realize maybe I figured it out and he'll think long and hard before he does it again. Heck, maybe I'll wake him up and jump him again before I go to work in the morning. Man.....that evil Scorpio red-head coming out in me this early in my cycle. This may be a wicked week or so leading up to ovulation.

Anyway, off to the good stuff. Our new Sleep Number bed will be arriving tomorrow and I am so excited, I can't wait to sleep comfortably.


  • At 8:07 PM, Blogger Vee said…

    Hey Jo

    Everybody has different levels of sexual needs and sometimes we can't always keep up. Whether we are tired or just not in the mood. I wouldn't take it personally.

    I would prefer my better half be masterbating than seeking satisfaction elsewhere.

    That's my opinion.

    Good Luck

    ps: have fun trying out the new bed ;)

  • At 2:36 AM, Blogger MAX said…

    Why does my partner feel they need to masturbate? Am I not sexy enough/giving them enough sex?

    There are many reasons people masturbate while in a sexual relationship. It may be as simple as they’re horny when their partner is at work or busy with something else.

    They may feel the need to have an orgasm, but may not feel they have the time or energy to pay attention to their partner, and therefore don’t want to initiate sex. Their partner may be tired, sick, asleep, having their period, or stressed, and not interested in having sex.

    Others have said masturbation helps them fall asleep easier, or it simply feels good, so they do it. Studies have shown masturbation among married females actually has a positive effect on their sex lives by helping them to understand their bodies better. Another benefit of masturbation is it can promote a feeling of being in control of one’s sexual satisfaction without always having to rely on one’s partner for orgasm.

    Sex and masturbation are not necessarily mutually exclusive. A person can have a healthy, satisfying sex life and still masturbate. The fact that your partner masturbates does not mean that they aren’t satisfied with your lovemaking capabilities. It also does not, as some people believe, indicate that your partner is having (or considering having) an affair. If you still have doubts, the answer again lies in your partner. To find out why they specifically masturbate, you’ll have to ask them.

    This brings up the issue of pornography. Many ladies feel if their partner has magazines or movies, that there is something wrong with the way they look. Remember, men respond to visual stimuli. A man can enjoy looking at women in movies or magazines, but can still appreciate the truly unique beauty of their partner. I have actually found that looking at magazines with my husband can be a wonderful way to gain insight into his thoughts. By discussing what he finds attractive in certain photos, I not only have gained an understanding of what he finds attractive in women, but also the qualities I possess that attracted him to me.

    If you have just found out that your partner masturbates, the idea may take awhile to get used to. You are in the process of reevaluating what you know about your partner. You may feel like you have been mislead or lied to. Remember that many people feel that masturbation is a private matter that should not be discussed. Your partner may have been embarrassed to admit they masturbate, or afraid you would be angry if they told you. They may also feel guilty that they’re continuing to masturbate, even while in a sexual relationship. Keep these things in mind when discussing masturbation with your partner, especially if this is information you’ve recently learned.


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